Love During Times of Chaos


if you are rolling your eyes right now thinking but how can I love right now, stick with me. This article is not one about pulling up your boot strings and sucking it up. It is not about what kills you makes you stronger. IT IS an article of encouragement and love to help you feel supported.

Love during times of chaos, a difficult life event

A difficult season of life

Sometimes life throws you a serious curveball that sweeps you off your feet. You might find yourself staring at your computer screen thinking - How do I survive this one? Is it even possible to take care of myself like I once did? Honestly, maybe not, but today I am letting you know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE no matter how alone you might feel. You are always being supported even when it might not feel like it. And I am sharing all of these things because this exact thing happened to me 6 weeks ago and this current rough season isn’t over yet.

As you read this, know that I am sending love to you no matter if you are reading it the day I hit publish or 300 days from now.

It is okay to not be okay. - but dig deep

Allow yourself to process in YOUR own time not someone else’s. You cry when you want to cry and don’t look to anyone to tell you how you “should” be feeling. It is completely okay, to not be okay.

If something is too much for you, you take a break. You can back away from the situation.

You will cry, scream, sing, and be okay one minute and not the next. Everything is probably coming at you, all at the same time, from every angle.

You are not alone though.

Chances are you are beating yourself up even when you don’t realize it - it seems like this is part of the process. But I do know my second season of chaos, I am handling it much better than the first time around. That first time around, I heard a little voice whispering to me “strength from within” as I was experiencing a painful and emotional relapse of Graves’ disease symptoms. I had no idea what that meant but it ignited a journey - maybe you are already familiar with my story.

Now, I’m handling it better this time around because I put in the time to work on me, to heal multiple areas of my life. I am hanging in there because this time I have tools up my sleeve. It still hurts worse than anything I ever experienced. But I can say, I am playing the blame game with myself less and less. Does that mean I haven’t blamed myself a little bit? Absolutely not, I most definitely have but I can heal those areas a little quicker and still look at the blame with love. Again, I’m not expert but this seems part of the process as well especially when something might happen unexpectedly or without a clear reason.

Surviving the chaos

At first, you won’t be able to recognize yourself when you look in the mirror. It probably will all feel like a dream. To you, you will look broken. You will cry at your reflection or maybe you have been crying and then for some reason you look in the mirror. That was me - the bloodshot eyes, the swollen eyelids and red nose and cheeks. How did I get here? How was this really happening?

But don’t judge the process — just love all of the parts that feel hard, gut wrenching and nasty. Love them to death. It will be hard at first but keep at it, little by little, day by day.

  • Love the broken girl in the mirror. You are compassionate.

  • Whisper to yourself “I love you” before you fall asleep and again when you wake.

  • Admire how you are showing all the raw emotions and not tucking them down in. You are brave.

  • Be thankful for your heart beating another day.

  • Admire and praise yourself for drinking water, for eating a meal, for taking a bath.

  • Admire yourself for reaching out to others for help. You are resourceful.

  • Allow yourself to forgive yourself and others.

  • Shower yourself with love and appreciation with even the smallest wins of the day. You are amazing.

How do you survive a chaotic season of life?

Simplest and MOST complicated answer is: YOU LOVE 🖤

You love yourself first. You love yourself in every part of the process. When you think you “should” be doing something, counter it with love in the place you are. Remind yourself that you determine what you “should be” doing. And devote extra time to loving you. When you do this, YOU GIRL, will find your radiant strength within again. And that doesn’t mean it still won’t hurt. It will. It will hurt like hell. But L.O.V.E will come down and rescue you.